To End the Rapture
by Shawn Jones
Summary: Robotnik plans to destroy Knothole, Sonic starts munching, hilarity ensues.
1. Rules of Enragement

To End the Rapture

By Shawn Jones

Before we begin, let's get the legal stuff over with, shall we?Sonic the Hedgehog and all related characters are copyrighted to Service and Games (Sega of America/Japan), DIC entertainment and Archie Comics. These characters are not to be copied or reproduced in any way. Doing so will put you in violation of Title 17 of the US Code regarding Copyright restrictions.

Foreword

I wanted to explain a few things before we begin, feel free to skip this if you'd like. First, I should mention that this story has nothing to do with any of my other stories, those were their own little world, and they will stay that way. I don't like any of the new characters introduced into Sonic for the past decade or so I have decided not to include any of them. I have the characters from the original comics/ SatAM, as well as Knuckles (who has an Australian accent if you were wondering). I don't like "Eggman" so I'm sticking with the good old Robotnik, with Snively as the sidekick. This has been rated R/M, whatever the fuck you want to call it, for dirty, dirty language and suggestive themes for lack of a better term. If you don't like any of that shit, don't read it, and if you do, enjoy.

Rules of Enragement

"Are you gonna munch this or what?" Sally asked.

"Hey Sal, that's awfully forward…" Sonic began and then realized she was offering him a chilidog.

"Come on Sonic, don't talk like that when Tails is in the room. You are always such a horrible influence on him," Sally chastised.

"Oh fuck Tails, you can't go and blame this shit on me like that. I thought I was going to get some action. What does 'are you gonna munch this or what' sound like to you?" Sonic asked.

"I was offering you a chilidog," Sally said, "it's not my fault you were thinking with your dick."

"I don't get it Auntie Sally, what did Sonic think he was going to munch on?" Tails asked.

"Tails, just forget about everything we were talking about, okay?" Sally pleaded.

"I was just curious Auntie Sally, because Sonic is always saying these strange things that I never understand," Tails said.

"Well Tails, Sonic is what you would call a pervert. Now that's really all you need to know, so go and help your Aunt Bunnie."

"Okay, thanks for the chilidogs Auntie Sally." Tails turned and walked out of the room. Once Tails was out of sight, Sally rounded on Sonic.

"Sonic, why do you have to keep bringing shit like this up while Tails is around? You knew that I was cooking dinner, you're going to dement him."

"First off Sally, Tails is already a deranged motherfucker, there is not really anything I can do about that. Second, you said 'munch' and that in and of itself has perverse sexual tie-ins. That's like me fixing you a popsicle saying 'are you going to suck this or what?'."

"Sonic, just try not to swear or use lewd language around Tails. And stop thinking about sex all the time."

"You know, it just might help if you wore some clothes once in a while, you have no idea what it's like to look at you naked all day," Sonic responded.

"Umm, actually you aren't wearing any clothes either Sonic."

"Yeah well, I'd say that on average I free-ball 65 percent of the time. Anyway, that's not really the point, I'm a guy and I'm in a completely different position when I see nude women."

"I don't know Sonic, but I have a pretty good idea of what you are trying to do. You're changing the subject because you hate it when I have to talk to you about Tails. So you're trying to maneuver around it, but it's not going to happen. Yesterday Tails told Antoine to go fuck himself when he asked for help. You can bet your ass that it isn't Rotor who's giving him these ideas."

"Sally, you know that everybody here tells him not to listen to the shit that I say. Plus, I mean, he told _Antoine_ to fuck himself, I don't really see the problem there. All this talking is, you know, getting me in the mood," Sonic said as he raised his eyebrows.

"Damn it, you are so infuriating sometimes, why are you acting like such an asshole? Let's just drop this whole fucking thing now. I have things that I need to get done and I don't need your bullshit, goodnight," Sally said and started to leave, once outside she stopped cold, staring in disbelief. Sonic saw her standing just outside the door so he went out to join her.

"This is unbefuckinglievable, who could have done this?" Sonic asked. They were both looking at two smoldering buildings. "You think it was Robotnik?"

"I don't know…"

"Don't worry Sal, we'll find you somewhere else to sleep." Just as Sonic finished a blackened Tails came stumbling toward them.

"I'm sorry Sonic, Auntie Bunnie told me to get rid of the weeds. It was going to take me too long to pull them all, I just thought I'd make it go faster by burning them. When I saw the buildings burning I panicked, so I ran over to get the hose to water it down, but I forgot to turn the water on…" Tails was interrupted.

"Tails, that's the first fucking thing, turn on the shit…" Sonic was saying.

"Shut up Sonic. It's okay Tails, there is an extra room we can stay in," Sally said, moving over to him. They all walked over to the extra room, which had a couch and a beanbag chair.

"Hey Sonic, does this couch pull out into a bed?" Tails asked.

"Yeah, a totally great bed, but that's Sally's bed. You get to sleep over here," Sonic said as he pointed to the beanbag chair.

"That's pretty weak Sonic," Tails pouted.

"Well who's the dumbass that burnt those buildings down? Anyway Sal, if you want, I can sleep here and you can use my bed instead of this," Sonic said.

"That's quite alright Sonic, I think I'll be fine in this 'totally great' bed,"

"I don't know if anyone else has seen that mess yet, but I'll go tell 'em about it. Hopefully we can get a plan so we can start building them back up. Oh, and Tails, don't go blowing anymore shit up."

The next morning the reconstruction was underway. Sonic was sitting in the kitchen looking over the construction plans that Rotor drew up earlier. Tails was sitting next to him, ruffling through a bag of chips. Sonic was doing his best to ignore it, but Tails kept making as much noise as possible.

"Enough with the goddamn chips already. I'm trying to fuckin' study this asshole!" Sonic yelled as he tossed the bag of chips across the room. Tails just gave Sonic a blank look. Sally walked into the room, and shook her head at both of them. She turned and left the room, just as she did Rotor appeared and went straight over to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of water, and started making his way out. Right as he hit the door he turned and looked over at Sonic.

"You have some chips on the floor here."


	2. A Sinister Plot

A Sinister Plot

"Snively!"

"Yes, sir?"

"What would _you_ like to do about Knothole?" Robotnik asked.

"Well sir, I'd like to squeeze some fucking money out of it."

"Smart mouth, too bad. This makes me think to myself, what can I use you for?"

"Sir?"

"I have just about had it with those Freedom Fighters, Snively, we have a need to find and exterminate them."

"By 'need' do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?"

"No Snively, a resolute and unyielding need. I'm tired of all the failed plans and worthless attempts to have them destroyed. I _need_ to find Knothole, Snively, and I _need_ to quell this uprising, and it _needs_ to happen in a matter of weeks," Robotnik said as he turned toward his monitors.

"Very good, sir. I have been working on something that may fit very well into your timetable."

"I'm just pissing myself in anticipation Snively, GET ON WITH IT!"

"I don't know if you remember, but a few years ago you told me to start development on a stealth bot, one unlike any other ever made. I have just seen to the final adjustments, it should be ready to go at your command."

"It seems, Snively, that I cannot recall such an order. Would you care to remind me?"

"Of course, sir. Once activated it is completely unseen, the only way to know of its existence would be to accidentally bump into it. We, of course, can track it here in the command center without incident. It also records audio and video, and has advanced heat and tracking systems. I'm sure all this information bores you, sir. It will find Knothole, and it can do so as soon as a matter of weeks, if you deploy it now."

"Deploy it Snively. The end is near now I fear, my little Freedom Fighters, I now hold you in check. At last the world can be mine, and finally Knothole will burn. Your move…"

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Back in Knothole the sun was setting, and that was just fine with Sonic. After the morning's chip incident was resolved Sonic went out and helped the others begin reconstruction on the two buildings Tails carelessly burnt down. Now Sonic was too tired to grab any dinner, so he just headed over to his room. As soon as he lay down to relax, a knock came at the door. Sonic dove under the bed, in fear that it was Tails wanting to talk.

" 'Ello, is ze 'edgehog in zis room or no?" Antoine asked as he looked around the room. Sonic proceeded to crawl out from under the bed. "Oh yes, only a complete fuel would be doing zis. Ze Princess has asked me to be getting you. Zair is to be a meeting about zis rebuilding."

"Oh, just fucking great. Well you can go back there and tell her Royal Highness I'll be there directly," Sonic replied.

"Zat is no way to be speaking to…"

"Shut it, you old daily used douche, I said I'd be right over." A few minutes after Antoine left, Sonic took off to the room Sally was staying. When he arrived Antoine was talking to Sally, and Rotor and Bunnie were on the couch. Tails seemed to be conveniently absent.

"…ze tings he was saying were so horrible…ah, oh 'ello Sonic," Antoine sputtered as Sonic walked in.

"What's this about Sal? Ole Frenchie the Douche told me to meet with you…" Sonic started to say.

"Now that _you_ are here," Sally interrupted, "we can begin the meeting. First thing, it's unfortunate that we lost two buildings last night, but we can't blame it all on Tails…"

"But he was the one to be doing zis," Antoine put in.

"Antoine is right Sally, and I never agree with this smelly wanker," Sonic said.

"Oh Sugar, he's just a little kid," Bunnie said, "You know he doesn't know any better."

"Well yeah, I know very well that he doesn't know shit…" Sonic began.

"That's something else that needs to be addressed," Sally broke in. "You and Antoine need to stop making fun of Tails, like Bunnie said he's just a kid, he needs our help. Anyway, I didn't ask you all here so we could talk about Tails. What I'm really worried about is Robotnik. Does anyone know the last time we heard from him?"

"Something like two months, maybe more. He had his ass handed to him last time we met. I wouldn't worry about Robotnik for awhile," Sonic said.

"Zis is very true, if I might say, I opened ze whoop ass on Robotnik…" Antoine was interrupted again.

"Bullshit Ant, you were too busy hiding in your room, fuckin' pissing yourself. You were just hoping he wouldn't ever find you," Sonic said snidely.

"Do you two have to get into a pissing match every time we call a meeting? Would you guys try and act fucking professional for once?!" Rotor shouted.

"I don't think I've ever heard you swear before Rotor," Sally said surprised.

"I guess I let my emotions get the best of me. Plus, who hasn't said fuck in this story?"

"Let's just try and keep this meeting on subject. I just have a horrible feeling that Robotnik is up to something," Sally said.

"Sal, Robotnik is always up to something. Don't worry, we haven't had a problem defeating him before," Sonic said. "Besides, right now it seems rebuilding should be our first priority."

"I'm sure you're right Sonic, I guess I'm just being a little paranoid. While we are here, does someone have something they want to ask, or discuss?" Sally asked.

"Well Sally, I was wondering if you wanted to keep the key you had to your old room lock, or if you wanted a new one…" Rotor began saying.

"I don't get zis, keys?"

"What is it keys do?" Rotor asked.

"Keys unlock tings?" Antoine responded.

"Right, we are discussing Sally's door lock, which needs a key to unlock it. Anyway Sally, the reason I ask is it's easier to just put a new lock in."

"Well that's fine Rotor, I don't need my old key if it's going to complicate things. Anyone else?"

"Yeah," Sonic said, "I was kind of wondering where all of my porn went."

"Not now Sonic," Sally replied

"Why not now? That's quite a collection I've been able to scrounge up, I don't see a good reason why I can't have it."

"For starters," Sally began, "it's a disgusting display of…well it's just disgusting. Also, Tails found one of your porn magazines the other day, and he came to me so I could look at it. It's just inappropriate Sonic, we need to be focusing on more important things right now."

"You know I'm going to need something to replace that," Sonic said as he winked at Sally. Sally's hand flashed out and smacked him hard across the face.

"Oh, haha, who is ze asshole now?" Antoine said just before Sally used her other hand to smack him.

"Sugar," Bunnie said to Sonic. "Why don't you just use your spank bank?" Bunnie winked at Sonic while Sally had her back turned. Sonic bent down and started whispering to Sally.

"I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure that Bunnie wants to get you and me together in a three-way." Sally stood up and kneed Sonic in the balls, he fell whimpering to the floor.

"I think that should be all, meeting is adjourned," Sally said.

"It is?" asked Antoine.

"Yeah, now get the hell out so I can get some sleep, Antoine!" Sally shouted. Everyone made their way to the door, except Sonic who was still lying on the floor. Once everyone left Sonic slowly got to his feet and started for the door.

"Are you going to munch this or what?" Sonic asked smiling at Sally, as he hobbled out the door.


	3. Zero Hour

Zero Hour

"Dr. Robotnik sir, I come bearing news," Snively said.

"It isn't bad news I hope, you know I can't take any more bad news. I had a bad night's sleep, a bad BM, I don't need any bad news. So Snively, what type of news is it?" Robotnik asked.

"Well frankly sir, it's quite wonderful news."

"I knew it was bad…wonderful news? Care to enlighten me?"

"It seems the stealth bot has located Knothole Village sir, I have audio and visual proof. We finally have them sir, what do you propose we do?"

"Send the torch bots Snively, all of them. After all the trouble those bastards have caused me, I will finally be able to get my retribution. I want the place burned to the ground Snively, I want the blackened ground to crunch under my feet."

"I will send the bots immediately sir."

"Good, good…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

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The reconstruction in Knothole didn't take as long as Sonic originally thought it would. Just a little over two weeks, and both buildings were fully operational.

"You know what Sally?" Sonic asked. "We should update all the buildings, those look pretty damn nice."

"Yeah they certainly are nice aren't they? I'm sure Rotor is drawing something up as we speak." Sally paused for a few minutes. "Sonic, I keep having these nightmares where I watch Knothole go up in flames."

"If you let Tails near a fuckin' box of matches that nightmare is going to become a reality," Sonic said.

"Sonic, I'm serious…"

"Well so am I. Listen Sal, Robotnik doesn't know where we are and he'll never find us. That and we're hiding all of the matches. Do you hear something?" As they listened closer an all too familiar voice began booming out of nowhere.

"Seems I've found your little hideout after all. Having trouble? Take a seat, have a drink. You guys take yourselves too seriously. You want my opinion? You need to lighten up." Sonic and Sally both turned and saw a legion of torch bots flying toward them. Everything that was in their path was being set ablaze. Sonic picked up Sally and took off into the forest.

"Sonic! We have to go back, we need to help the others."

"Ah fuck, well hold on to your butt." Sonic turned around and ran straight toward the heart of the blaze. They found Antoine first, he was knocked unconscious. "How are we going to get everyone out, Sal?"

"Rotor was working on one of Robotnik's pods, if we can get there in time, it should work."

"I'll take you there with Antoine. Then I'll start looking for the others, but if it gets too hot you have to take off, Rotor will know how to drive it."

"But…"

"If you start getting a bad vibe then you get the fuck out quick!" Sonic raced to Rotor's workshop where he was getting the pod ready, Bunnie was there with him.

"I was hoping you guys would show up. We need to get out of here, fast!" Rotor exclaimed.

"Where is Tails?" Sally asked.

"Fuck," Sonic muttered under his breath. "You guys go, I'll get Tails and we'll meet up at the Floating Island. Hopefully Knuckles will be able to help us out from there. What are you guys waiting for? GO!" Sonic took off into the inferno, and everyone else boarded the pod and made their way out of Knothole.

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"What is the damage report Snively?"

"It's burning now sir, there is nothing in the village that hasn't been set on fire. I have done just as you have asked, the ground will be as black as your heart, sir."

"That is quite wonderful news indeed, Snively. If you keep doing everything I ask, you will find that I am kind. Now, tomorrow I'll need a body count, but it really is no matter. With the Freedom Fighters having no base of operations, I can now rule with no distractions. I hold the world in the palm of my hand."


	4. The Floating Islands

The Floating Islands

Sally was pacing back and forth, in the palace that Knuckles constructed on the Floating Island.

"Where is he, it's been three days now?" Sally asked.

"Why are you so worried about ze 'edgehog my Princess? It would not matter if he did no return, he called me ze douchebag," Antoine stated.

"Antoine," Bunnie said, "this really isn't the time to act like a complete asshole. And don't forget, he saved your life just before he took off to find Tails."

"I believes zis no…"

"Hi guys," Tails said as he flew into the room.

"Where is Sonic?" Sally asked.

"I thought he was with you guys, I haven't seen him in at least three days," Tails replied.

"Wha…"

"I'm just kidding Auntie Sally, he stopped and talked to Knuckles on the way up."

"Well Hon," Bunnie began, "that's not a very funny joke. Your Aunt has been worried sick about him." Just as she finished Sonic made his way into the room.

"SONIC!"

"Something wrong?"

"What happened?" Sally asked, "Are you alright?"

"You know, I was just hangin' out playin' Nintendo. I thought it might be a good time for a barbeque. What the fuck do you think happened? I was running around the Great Forest looking for this shit box," Sonic said pointing to Tails.

"You shouldn't make light of the situation Sonic, being sarcastic right now is pretty low," Sally scolded.

"What? Why's that low?" Sonic asked.

"I've been waiting here for you the last three days, worried to death, and as soon as you get back you just make fun of this horrible situation," Sally said. "I know you went looking for Tails, and I didn't want to leave you there be we had no choice. I only wanted to know if you were okay."

"Well I'm fine, as for Tails, I found that little son of a bitch hiding in a cave."

"Really?"

"You're going to have to take my word on this, 'cause I don't have the time or the energy to make shit up anymore. I had a talk with Knuckles, seems he doesn't know much about the situation, so I said we should meet up with him tomorrow afternoon. But right now my ass is draggin' is there some place for me to crash for a while?"

"Knuckles gave us a few rooms, so I'm sure we can find you something. Come with me," Sally said and then led Sonic into the room, where he imagined he would be staying for the immediate future. The first thing he noticed were two beds.

"Uh, I don't think I'm getting two beds, so who's the fuckin' roommate?" Sonic asked.

"I'm already staying in this room, but you can use the other bed if you like," Sally responded.

"You mean it's time to marinade the nether rod in the squish mitten?" Sonic asked.

"I'm going to act like you didn't just say that. Now go and sleep if that's what you want to do." Sonic woke up the next morning and noticed that Sally had already left. He got up and went to the kitchen, where he found Rotor, already sitting there.

"Hey Sonic, how's it going?" he asked.

"Everything seems to be cool right now. What kind of grub do we have here?"

"I guess you didn't get much sleep last night, huh?"

"Sally didn't really want to fuck, so I got plenty."

"No, that isn't what I mean. I saw her this morning and she seemed really pissed off."

"What the fuck did I do now?" Sonic asked.

"I don't know, and she hasn't told anyone that I know of. Maybe Bunnie, but I haven't seen her this morning," Rotor replied.

"Son of a bitch, this isn't something I need right now."

"Did you say something to her?"

"Besides all the smartass comments I said when I got back?" Sonic asked, and Rotor nodded. "Nothing really, well a fuck joke but she usually _takes_ those pretty well. At any rate it's probably best if I avoid her this morning."

"I don't know if that's going to be a possibility."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well she's…"

"Right here," Sally said as she entered the room.

"I fucking walked right into that one. Where the fuck was the heads up on that shit, Rotor?"

"Sorry…I just remembered something I need to do," Rotor said as he quickly got up and left.

"Hey Sal…"

"Don't give me that shit Sonic. Tails told me you threatened to leave him behind six or seven times on the way here."

"What the fuck is it with you and Tails? You're constantly giving me shit about him. Maybe I think if I give Tails some shit he won't turn into a fucking pussy when he grows up. And if you give him everything that's exactly what happens. I didn't tell him I should be his role model, I got totally fucked into the position. Yeah, maybe I'm too hard on the bastard, but the way you and Bunnie pamper him I figure someone has to break his balls. Where are the fuckin' eight fingers of whiskey when you need 'em?" Sonic retorted.

"That's it? You're an asshole to Tails because you think he'll be a pussy otherwise? Did you ever think enough of that behavior might make him a psychopathic serial killer?"

"Now you're going to extremes, I don't fuckin' bag on him all day. Look, you know we aren't going to get anywhere bitching about this all morning. Maybe if you were with me, you'd have been ready to leave his ass behind too. I wanted to make good time because I wasn't sure…I wasn't sure of fuckin' anything. Now by your leave your Highness, I have some other shit to do today."

"Whatever Sonic, just get out of here," Sally said as she sat down and put her head on the table.


	5. Another Fucking Meeting

Another Fucking Meeting

Sonic took off from the kitchen and explored the palace for the next couple of hours, making sure he avoided contact with anyone. He suddenly remembered the meeting with Knuckles, and took off to find the Great Meeting Hall. As usual Sonic was the last one to arrive.

"Hey mate," Knuckles said as he walked in. "Sally's been telling me about what happened to Knothole. That's a total bummer, mate."

"Well you know, shit happens, we'll be able to get over this."

"Actually Sonic," Sally began, "that's what we are planning on discussing next, seeing as how you missed the meeting with Knuckles. You are welcome to stay and help out if you want Knuckles."

"Oh that'd be great, I'll help you any way I can."

"You've already done quite a bit, Knuckles," Sally said smiling at Knuckles. "Thank you, for everything."

"It was no problem at all mate," Knuckles replied.

"Oh, what the fuck was that look?" Sonic asked Sally.

"I was just telling him I appreciate everything he's done to help us."

"Yeah sure Sally, that look was totally fucked up. Why don't you just fuck and get it over with?"

"Why's Sally looking at me totally fucked up? I hate to tell you mate, but you have some serious issues."

"Sonic, I'm not going to have you ruin everything by pissing off Knuckles, the only one who gave us shelter. Now will you shut the hell up so we can discuss our future plans?" Sally asked snidely.

"I have ze question. I have been hearing ze 'edgehog has been making fuck…" Antoine was saying before Rotor interrupted him.

"Antoine! Now isn't the time to bring that up." He then whispered to Antoine, "I told you not to say anything."

"What are you guys talking about?" Sally asked.

"Nothing," they replied in unison. Sally then shot Sonic at glance, and he only shrugged his shoulders.

"Can everyone try to keep to the point at hand?" Sally asked as she looked around the room. "We have two very important issues to discuss: a new base of operations and retaliation to Robotnik's attack. We will begin with the base of operations, we aren't much of a force without one."

"Why don't we just stay here with Knuckles?" Tails asked.

"Good question Tails," Sally responded. "We want to keep in contact with Knuckles, but as far as Robotnik knows, Knuckles has no allegiance. That's a really powerful tool to have, and we wouldn't want to jeopardize that. Any other suggestions?"

"Do you know how big the Great Forest is? It's fuckin' huge, hence the 'great'. It seems to me the ideal course of action would be to build a base somewhere else in the forest," Sonic suggested. "It took Robotnik a long time to find the last one, I think it's a pretty good bet we'd be safe."

"How did he find us the last time?" Sally asked. "What's to stop him from doing something like that again?"

"The night before the attack, I was picking up strange frequencies on my computer in Knothole. I could create a device to scramble these frequencies as well as others," Rotor said.

"Oh shit, problem solved, let's move on to Phase 2 so I can go get drunk," Sonic said.

"Can we be certain that it will stop it, Rotor?" Sally inquired.

"Theoretically it would, but I guess there is always a chance of failure," Rotor responded. Sally pulled out a map of the Great Forest, and placed it on a table.

"If we keep it in the forest, I say we build it right here," Sally said as she circled a section of the map. "Any objections?" She looked around the room and spotted Sonic drinking from a flask. "Sonic, what are you drinking?"

"It's just some Kool-Aid," he replied. She walked over to him, took the flask, and smelled it.

"Is that why it smells like Bailey's?"

"Well this part is boring as fuck, there's nothing funny happening, so I figured I'd amuse myself by getting drunk."

"Would you stop saying 'fuck' and stop acting like a complete asshole? Anyway, does anyone have some ideas of what we would call the new base?" Sally asked.

"The Deuce, fuck yeah," Sonic said.

"Ze Antoine Keep, home to ze finest of wines."

"What about Forest Haven, Sugar?" Bunnie suggested.

"I like that one Bunnie, but something is missing…"

"We should probably just, you know, call it Knothole," Rotor said.

"You're right Rotor, it will keep a nice feeling of home that way. We should start construction as soon as possible, we'll leave tomorrow. On to the next item, Robotnik, what should we do about him?" Sally asked.

"I say we go up to his fortress and kick him in the SCROTUM!" Knuckles said.

"That's a great plan, Knuckles. That's fuckin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch," Sonic stated sarcastically.

"That plan has more than a few loopholes in it, sorry Knuckles. Anyone else?"

"Auntie Sally, what's a scrotum?" Tails asked.

"Oh God, thanks Knuckles. It's a…well…" Sally was interrupted by Sonic.

"It's a fuckin' ball sack, now stop asking stupid fuckin' questions already. No more of this bullshit, I'll lay out the plan for you. Rotor, you're gonna make me some trigger detonation bombs. Bunnie, you and Antoine are going to have to watch my ass when I'm over at Robotnik's fortress, inform me of anything that comes my way."

"No problem, Sugar."

"Sally, you are going to detonate the bombs when you are given the signal. I'm going to plant the bombs in Robotnik's fortress. And Tails, you won't do shit because you're a fuckin' idiot. Even if Robotnik escapes with his life, he's going to be completely fucked. I think that pretty much sums it up, any questions?"

"I'm amazed Sonic," Sally said, astonished. "This plan is great, the only thing is you'll be placed in considerable danger."

"Fuck danger and fuck Robotnik, not literally mind you. If we don't do something he'll burn down fuckin' Knothole Deuce, and any other base we might fuckin' construct after that. I know I say fuck a lot, and I'd apologize, but I don't really give a shit," Sonic ranted.

"It sounds like a sensible plan to me, do we have any objections?" Sally asked as she surveyed the room. "Okay then, meeting is adjourned."

"It is?"

"What the hell is wrong with you Antoine? The meeting is over, so say something useful or get out. We have a lot to prepare for if we are going to leave tomorrow," Sally said. Everyone started making their way out of the room, as Sonic started to go Sally caught him by the arm. "I need to talk to you, Sonic."

"Ah fuck, there wasn't that much booze in the flask. It might have even contributed to me coming up with that plan."

"That isn't what I want to talk about."

"Well, what then?"

"How strong do you think we can come back? Robotnik destroyed everything we had, any plans, research, technologies, and inside information. It's all gone, and who knows how long it will take to build that up again, if we even can. With nothing, can we come back and actually make a difference? What makes a man that evil?" Sally asked solemnly.

"Some men aren't looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. All that shit you listed is just that, shit. We don't need that shit, we have a new plan now and if it goes accordingly Robotnik will be fucked. We put up two buildings in two weeks, in a month and a half we'll have a whole fuckin' village operational. Maybe we won't be able to obtain what information or research we had before, but we can start again. Remember what we were talking about before Knothole was torched? We were talking about updating all the buildings, and in essence that is what we are going to do now. All I know is I'll die before I let that asshole take over the world."

"Sometimes, Sonic, you have your moments," Sally said smiling.

"Oh, so that means we're going to…"

"Sometimes," she said leaving the room.


	6. The Serial Crusher Theory

The Serial Crusher Theory

Robotnik stalked across the blackened ground where Knothole once stood.

"What have you heard about the Freedom Fighters, Snively?"

"To be honest, sir, nothing at all."

"I take it no remains have been found."

"We are still searching, sir. I would highly doubt anyone could escape from an attack like that."

"HAHAHAHA…it feels so good to be free of those furry douchebags. You know what? It kind of makes me feel like riverdancing."

"That would be quite a sight indeed, sir."

"What the fuck did you just say, asshole?"

"I said nothing, it must have been the wind, sir," Snively replied.

"The wind better watch its fucking mouth next time. Are there any other rebellious groups that have been causing trouble?" Robotnik asked.

"Everything has been quiet, sir. It seems that you have complete control over everything for the time being."

"About how long would it take to obliterate the entire Great Forest?"

"It would take years, sir, some of the forest is still uncharted. I suspect it would be best to leave the forest as it is. With no more rebels it would just be a waste of time and money, sir."

"I suspect you are correct, Snively, but if you do end up being wrong I'll be forced to kick your ass."

"But of course, sir."

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"So this is what your bedroom looks like, I think I'll be seeing a lot of it," Sonic said as he looked around.

"Well for now you will, but that's only because we haven't finished working on your room yet," Sally said as she sat down on the bed.

"Yeah sure, I don't know how you are going to resist me, you've been staring at my balls ever since I walked through that door."

"I don't know if I'll be able to make it through these two weeks without killing you. Are you planning to hit on me the entire time?" Sally asked looking at Sonic.

"Ten bucks says we'll fuck before I leave, no bullshit."

"That will be the easiest ten dollars I'll ever make."

"I don't know about that, Tails would probably pay you fifteen if you blew him," Sonic said just as he finished, Sally got up and punched him in the stomach. "Ah fuck, it was just a joke, that was almost a nut tap. In a couple of days I have to go plant those bombs, but not if I'm all gimpy and fucked up. With all this excitement I forgot to ask, where is my mattress?"

"We only have three, Sonic. That unfortunately means we have to share this one…"

"Can we make that bet twenty bucks?" Sonic asked as Sally attempted to kick him in the balls. He caught her foot just before she could.

"Sonic, I'll make you sleep on the goddamn floor if you keep this shit up."

"So who's the unlucky prick that hast to sleep with Tails? He has fuckin' nightmares and pisses the bed."

"I don't know, nor do I care. I have plenty to contend with while you're here…did you just grab my ass?"

"I would never do such a thing, Sweet Cheeks. I'm off to get some dinner." Sonic ran out before Sally could say anything, and made his way over to the dining area. "Hey Sweetie, what's the main course?" he asked Bunnie as he entered.

"Oh Sugar, you shouldn't call me that, I don't want Sally to be angry with me."

"Fair enough, but she's already pissed at me, so I don't think it matters."

"You are going to driver her insane, Hun. What did you do this time?" Bunnie asked.

"Nothing serious, just a few fuck jokes. Anyway, you never told me what we were having for supper."

"Same as yesterday, Sugar. It's another batch of cabbage soup."

"Fuck! I've had the mad shits all week because of that fuckin' soup," Sonic said in disgust.

"Well Knuckles should be here in a few days with more food. Until then, it's cabbage soup. The mad shits, huh Sugar? Sometimes you are just so funny."

"That's not funny, don't laugh!" Sonic said as Bunnie continued laughing.

"What was zis joke did I miss?" Antoine asked entering the room.

"Like that question made a whole lot of fuckin' sense," Sonic replied.

"Why is Bunnie on the floor laughing?" Sally asked making her way over to Sonic.

"I don't know, the joke wasn't that good, worth a chuckle maybe. In fact, it wasn't even a joke, I have had the mad shits all week because of that fuckin' cabbage soup."

"I'm sorry, Hun, it was just the way you said don't laugh. I just couldn't control myself."

"I guess you had to be there. It looks like soups on, so let's go sit down," Sally said sitting down at the table.

"Its munch time," Sonic said, and Sally turned to glare at him.

"Yes, so how much more time to be eating zis fooking soup?" Antoine asked staring into his bowl.

"Bunnie said Knuckles should be here in a few days," Sonic replied. "Rotor, have you finished those trigger mines yet?"

"Should be done by tomorrow, then I can start helping rebuild again," Rotor responded.

"How long until we're finished Auntie Sally?" Tails whined. "I don't want to do any more work."

"Stop being such a whiney bitch, Tails…" Sonic started before Sally interrupted him.

"We've been working for three weeks already, and I'd say we are almost half done. With Rotor back helping in a couple of days, we can probably be done in another three weeks or so."

"Work is fuckin' good for you, so stop being a complete fucknut," Sonic said.

"Rotor makes me sleep on a beanbag chair, and he farts all night," Tails said.

"You little shit…"

"You make Tails sleep on a beanbag, Rotor?" Sally asked, stunned.

"He has nightmares and pisses the bed all night, Sally. At least the bed's clean this way," Rotor replied.

"So, by process of elimination, that means you sleep with Antoine, Bunnie. How is that workin' out for you?" Sonic asked. Bunnie leaned over toward Sonic and started whispering to him.

"He elbows a lot, and smells like old French cologne. He talks in his sleep too."

"Wait just a fuckin' second here, how long have you guys been sleeping on mattresses?" Sonic asked looking around.

"About a week now, Sugar. Why?"

"Why the fuck have I been sleeping outside then?"

"I thought you wanted to, until you brought it up to me today that is," Sally said.

"That is so fucking weak, all I had to do was ask?" Sally nodded. "Well I guess I totally fucked myself on that one. Shit, I could've fucked you by now, Sally," Sonic said with a smile. Sally picked up her bowl of soup and threw it at Sonic. "Oww, my balls…they're on fire!"


	7. When It's Least Expected

When It's Least Expected

"Okay, let's go over this plan once more before we go out tomorrow night," Sonic said. "Antoine and Bunnie, you are going to follow me into the heart of Robotropolis. You're there to keep me informed of anything that looks suspicious. We will have radio contact, don't be afraid to tell me about anything you see that doesn't look right. Sally, you have to wait at the edge of the Great Forest, when you see the flare go off, detonate the bombs. Rotor, I need you to stay in Knothole, just so it isn't completely defenseless. It's not likely Robotnik even knows we exist, but I'd rather be safe than fucked. Finally Tails, you are to stay in your room, and don't fuckin' leave. Does everyone understand?"

"Why can't I help, Sonic?"

"Because you'll fuck everything up, anyone else?"

"Zis is confusing, what is it I am to be doing again?" Antoine asked.

"You're going to warn me if some funky shit is happening outside, asshole. It's a pretty simple fuckin' plan, you guys shouldn't even have questions."

"Then why did you ask if we had any?" Sally questioned.

"I don't want to get royally fucked over when we actually try and pull this shit off, that's fuckin' why. With questions like this I might as well swallow the last fuckin' mine, and go up in flames. Whatever, I'm not gonna sit here and argue with you guys. I'm leaving tomorrow night, if you don't know the plan, don't fuckin' show up," Sonic said and then stood up and left.

"Well since he left, I'll be happy to answer any questions anyone else has," Sally said.

"Why can't I help, Auntie Sally?" Tails asked.

"Don't worry Tails, you can come with me," Sally said, "Just don't tell Sonic."

"Why is ze 'edgehog so bitchy, I think someone took ze shit in his Cheerios."

"He told me not to tell anyone, but Sonic has an insurance policy. If he takes longer than two minutes, I was told to detonate the bombs anyway. Sonic said that if he was in there for longer than two minutes it means he was either captured or killed. I can't say I agree with that, but as soon as Robotnik knows Sonic is alive, he will not stop until all of us are dead."

"Are you certain he said two minutes, Sugar," Bunnie asked and Sally nodded her head. "There are roughly fifty mines he has to plant, on who knows how many floors, even with his speed that's pushing it, Hun."

"I know Bunnie, I tried to get him to change his mind, but…"

"It's okay, Hun, we'll get him out alive. I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired. If we're going to do this tomorrow it would be best if we got some sleep."

"You're right," Sally said, "We need to be well rested and prepared for tomorrow."

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Sonic stood at the meeting area, waiting for the others to arrive.

"I guess I'll be doing this shit by myself," Sonic mumbled to himself.

"No Sonic, we came here to help you," Sally said as she came walking up with Antoine and Bunnie.

"Bitchin, let's get moving," Sonic said as he prepared to take off.

"Wait! Sonic I…" Sally began.

"Owe me ten bucks, and I expect it paid in full when I get back." With that Sonic grabbed Bunnie and Antoine and took off. He raced into Robotropolis, avoiding the cameras and swat bots. He stopped right in front of Robotnik's fortress. "Alright, you guys hang tight here, and give me the heads up if anything happens. This place is going to blow in two minutes, so stay for 90 seconds then get as far away as you can." Sonic picked up the pack of mines and raced inside the fortress.

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"Hey Auntie Sally, can I hold that?" Tails asked.

"No Tails, this is something very important, Sonic's life might depend on it."

"Come on Auntie Sally, I just want to help."

"Okay, but don't press that button unless you see Sonic's flare." Just as Sally finished speaking, a shooting star shot across the sky. Tails pulled the trigger on the detonator, and there was a huge explosion in the distance. "Tails that wasn't the flare! We have to make sure no one is hurt, HURRY!"

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"Justice is balance," Sonic said as he walked over to Robotnik, in the command center of the fortress.

"What the fuck? How did you get in here you filthy bastard?"

"You burned down my house and left me for dead. Consider us even," Sonic said as he tossed the last mine at Robotnik, it exploded just before impact. "Oh shit, that was a quick two minutes, I better get the fuck out." Sonic took off down the stairwell, as the whole structure was collapsing down upon him.

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"Hun," Bunnie said to Antoine, "I don't think that was two minutes."

"Ze shit, we must be leaving now, zis is going to kill us."

"We are just going to leave Sonic?"

"Well zis was the insurance policy, WE ARE GOING TO DIE!!" Antoine screamed just as Sonic grabbed the both of them and burst into the forest. On his way he ran into Sally coming toward him, with Tails just behind.

"I don't owe you ten dollars," Sally said when they met up.

"What? I at least rounded third base."

"Are you okay? I've been so worried since the premature detonation."

"I don't know, I'm kind of fucked up in general, so it's hard to gauge. Why did it blow early? Ten bucks is no reason to kill me. And why the fuck is Tails here?"

"I don't know why it detonated early," Sally lied. "Tails is here because he wanted to help, and I thought he could. And for the record I don't owe you anything."

"Well you'll be owing me ten bucks after tonight. Let's get the fuck out of here."

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Knothole was completely rebuilt, and Sonic was very happy with the final result. He was sitting on a bench in the center of the village when Sally came walking over to him.

"Do you think he's still alive?" She asked.

"Who?"

"Robotnik."

"Probably, that son of a bitch just never dies. After what happened, I'm sure it'll be a long time before we have to worry about him."

"Last time you said that he burnt Knothole to the ground."

"Really? I better not say that shit anymore then. By the way, what's for lunch?"

"Veggie burgers, with all the trimmings, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles…"

"But Auntie Sally, Sonic ate the last pickles," Tails said walking up to them.

"Fucking snitch," Sonic said.

"I'm sorry Sonic, I'm sorry. I brought you guys some burgers," Tails said handing them off.

"Are you gonna munch this or what?" Sally asked looking at Sonic.

"I'm gonna…what?"


End file.
